On The Weigh Down
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Title: On The Weigh Down

Essay Details:

Subject: History
Author: Charles S
Date: March 20, 2015
Grade: A
Length: 3 / 773

Essay text:

I also like how you use the introduction to give a good preview of the experience you are about to relate. Readers like knowing what to expect. : ) Introduction/Conclusion: Your introduction does a good job of setting up the experience you are about to narrate, but I think your conclusion could be developed slightly more. The conclusion for a narrative essay usually explains how that experience is meaningful to you. In other words, how did this dieting experience play a role in your life in the years ahead? How has it changed you and your approach to life? Do you now know something that you didn’t know before? I think adding just a couple more sentences to that conclusion, Wendi, will do the trick...

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