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Hang a green plastic sheet down from the middle of your bath-tub and move the shower head to chest level. Keep 4 inches of soapy cold water on the floor. Stop cleaning the toilet and pee everywhere but in the toilet. Leave 2 or 3 sheets of toilet paper or for best results remove it altogether
5. When you take showers wear flip flops and turn lights off.
6. Every time there is a thunderstorm, go sit in a wobbly rocking chair and dump dirt on your head.
7. Put lube oil in the humidifier instead of water and set it on high for that tactical generator smell.
8. Don't watch TV, except for movies in the middle of the night...
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