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The most important thing to remember is that nobody can force another person to do something they don't want to do. The number one ingredient to get over the fear of saying "no" is to learn to be assertive.
Let us say that your friend is having a bad day. His car broke down and he has to pick his kids up from school in twenty minutes. He asks you to borrow your car for about an hour. You let him borrow it and he brings it back right on time and he thanks you. The next week his wife has his car and he asks to borrow your car again. You really need it and don't want to let him borrow it. So you make up an excuse and he responds by telling you that he just needs it for a minute and he reminds you that you let him borrow it last week...
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